Since my last blog post a lot has changed in our lives, as it obviously should since I haven't blogged in 10 months. But one constant seems to be that I'm quite teary. It seems that every time I turn a corner something happens that makes me cry.
Good tears and bad.
Some people may not understand why the act of crying is a big deal to me, others will completely understand when I explain. See, for the past (almost) 13 years I've held my emotions tight. After my water broke (at 23 weeks) and Paige was born (at 25.5) weeks I learned that crying would do nobody any good. I learned to turn off the tears as soon as they would come to the surface. It was difficult at first but became easier as the years went on. I'm not emotionless by any means. I just don't really cry often.
But there are the moments in life when something catches me so off guard that the tears start to flow before I can stop them. Sometimes I wonder if all the tears I should have been shedding over the years aren't stored up somewhere in my body. When the faucet gets turned on, 13 years of tears are trying to pour out.
Now I can't seem to turn off the faucet. We've had some big changes over the past 10 months, been in some pretty emotion filled situations too. I am constantly fighting off tears. Even as I type this the tears are trying to come out.
I'm hoping that by blogging again I can deal with some of these feelings head on.
By the way... I've missed you all. Silly, I know. But it's true.